Sucking Flat Beer Through A Hose.

No, I haven't given up on my blog thank you very much. But after nearly breaking a giant 5 gallon glass jug, actually breaking a very important plastic tube, and getting a mouthful of very flat yeasty beer I considered throwing all of this stuff out of a very high window. Despite this craziness however, I was able to accomplish the second phase of brewing the Lord's gift to humanity.

Because of my wife's clever decision to brew a fruit beer (...sigh...), I learned the other day that I would need to ferment my beer, AGAIN, for TWO MORE WEEKS. This stuff better taste like Aphrodite's breast milk or something awesome like that. After much struggle I was able to follow the oh so clear 10pt. font instructions and siphon the beer into the second jug and glob in all of the fruit goo. I won't lie to you, it looked nasty and when I stuck my head in the bucket and smelled I almost passed out. It was like a five gallon bucket of crazy strong brewski.

Now it sits once again with the cup of noodles just dying to be consumed. I posted some pictures of the sanitzed utensils, the apricot puree, and the process so you all can enjoy this glorious art from my point of view. See you in about two weeks!

Malt and hops and Wtf???

My mother in law recently bestowed upon me the great gift of a home beer brewing kit, and believe it or not I am going to brew some beer as fast as I possibly can. This blog is going to help document my progress during brewing as well as the joys, pains, annoyances, and maybe even the drunkeness throughout my newly found hobby.

In case you do not know me my name is Ricky and I like beer... a lot. I need a hobby and this is a perfect way for me to stop watching Law And Order: SVU marathons on TBS. July 18, 2011 I bought my first kit of beer brewing ingredients to make an apricot flavored brew (my wife's only condition to begin this hobby was to make a beer she likes, so I will add some testosterone later). Here is what came in the kit:

-Briess CBW Pilsen dry malt extract
-Briess CBW Bavarian Wheat liquid malt extract
-Vintners apricot puree
-Apricot fruit flavor
-Wheat Malt/Dextra pils malt/vienna malt
-Mt. Hood hops
-Willamette hops
-Danstar Nottingham Yeast

WTF??!! This looked to me like it looks to you... complete nonsense. I didn't let this get me down! I put it in a GIANT pot, cooked it up, and now it is bubbling like a mad scientists laboratory. It is awesome.

Now here it sits in my pantry, right next to the cup of noodles, where it belongs for the next seven days. I can't wait to drink it and possibly get a buzz (and hopefully not deathly ill from a rookie brewmaster's screw-ups). Come check out my progress and all of my fun while I master this new skill and become Anheuser Ricky.

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Post Script:

I would like to thank my sister for having a blog first (http://seizinglifeonemeasuringcupatatime.blogspot.com) and making me want to one-up her once again. Booyah.

Sincerely,

Ricky